He cherishes the beauty that does not fade or wrinkle. God places emphasis on a woman’s godliness far above her physical appearance. If you want to be attracted to the true and imperishable beauty in godly women, live for the glory of Christ and give up the fleshly drug that fills the mind with prostitutes (Psalm 101:3). His “love” will devour for its own gratification rather than sacrifice for a bride and children in the name of Christ. His “type” will gravitate more and more towards lust than beauty, more toward the physically distorted than the spiritually attractive. He also inevitably develops expectations shaped not by God and his word, but by the collage of digitally-enhanced images swimming around in his head. A man who consistently indulges in pornography and gives himself to sexual fantasy endangers his soul and anyone close to him. This need not mean a clean and tidy ten-year plan, but it is nothing less than knowing the Lord Jesus Christ, following him, and desiring to win souls and advance his glory in our spheres of influence.Īnd living for Christ always entails putting to death our lust (Colossians 3:5).

Godly men, however, invite women into a mission bigger than the relationship itself they seek a helpmate to adventure with in service of Christ. With nothing higher to put my hands to, I could sculpt many romantic fantasies. If they have no garden to tend, why would they need a helper? If a man has no vision for his life, why would he invite a woman to sit idly next to him on a bus traveling nowhere?Īt different seasons of my life I lived as though marriage was my mission. Men should not spend more energy looking for the perfect spouse than they do on becoming a godly future husband. They no longer desired to keep as many doors open as possible, and wanted to lay aside their fear of “forsaking all others.” They desired deliverance from that subtly dangerous question: “Who is the fairest in the land?” The following counsel, by no means exhaustive, may offer helpful steps in the right direction. They wanted to break free from the pit of unrealistic expectations. How do you begin to change the eye’s definition of beauty or shape the heart’s attractions?

Some responded, wanting to lay aside their search for the full-time Christian, part-time model - who is nothing less than exotic, enchanting, ethereal - and come to appreciate the imperishable beauty of the existent, born-again daughters of God around them. I wrote before on the possibility that the woman some men hold out for does not actually exist.

Whether suffering from worldly ideals or an inflated sense of self, somehow all of the Christian women they meet are never quite their “type.” This is not all men, to be sure, but it is some men. Some single men miss wonderful women because they’re fixated on all the wrong things.

The fairest beauty